Scam

SENSITIVITY WARNING: I DO APOLOGIZE; READING THIS POST MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME. BUT ASK YOURSELF WHY.

This is not a post about online companies selling fake promises. Nor is it about catfishers playing with the emotions of lonely people. It's not even about the hundreds of ways people fall for things and situations that are not only untrue but not rooted in reality. It's about tapping into that part of yourself that allowed the scam to happen in the first place and that in the end all the signs were there. Signs like, you can't get something for nothing, there is no love at first sight, no magic pill, and anyone you've been talking to online who works on an oil rig out at sea and needs money from you to get home to your loving arms, is a big ol' liar. 

Is that victim blaming? Yes. Because clearly the bells and whistles and red flags went unheeded. The rose colored glasses you donned, and if you're honest with yourself, your own agenda, led you to this moment. Wise up and suck it up. 

Before you decide that I'm being cruel and I'm not taking into account all the specifics of an event, I'm not talking about high crime, Anna Delvey, Simon Leviev, or Elizabeth Holmes style (although it could wind up that way if you let it). I'm talking about buying a product online from a company you've never heard of, and never thinking even for a split second that it wouldn't live up to the hype. I'm talking about meeting someone online behind photos and profiles and becoming emotionally invested without ever meeting them in person or speaking in real time. I'm talking about placing the blame where it belongs--on you for allowing pollyanna naivety to take the wheel and more so, let it happen time and time again. Wake up!

Being "trusting" and "open to love" does not preclude you from having your eyes open, just as taking a "leap of faith" doesn't mean you jump with your eyes closed. What happened to being cautious, taking it slow, getting advice, trusting you gut because even your gut knew that that 6' 3" lumberjack with the gleaming smile and washboard abs holding a rescue puppy, who recently retired from his corner office Wall Street brokerage, was FAKE!

But why? Why are you doing this to yourself? Because it seems easy? Because you're bored? Because you're lonely? Because you think it will make you happy? Because you hope it will finally fix something you feel is wrong with you? How is it that even though every atom in your body is programmed to protect you with a fight or flight response, how is that you still hit the buy now button or swipe right? That's where you need to start, before you scroll, before you buy, before you swipe.

Let me put this plainly. There is no miracle drug you can take that will have you drop five dress sizes overnight. There is no get rich quick program that will make you a millionaire in a month. No tropical island or cabin in the woods that you can "win" with purchase. And there is no perfect man using online dating because he just doesn't know where to meet a good woman. And if you think any of those things exist, it's probably because it's easier to search the internet with your fingers crossed, than to do any kind of personal work and growth. There. I said it.

Losing weight takes dietary changes and moving your body. Financial freedom comes down to living below your means and working towards alternate or additional income streams. Vacation home of your dreams? Airbnb. And that soulmate? He or she will present themselves when you are living your best life doing the things you love to do. And only after you realize that you are whole and complete all on your own. 

So instead of searching and scrolling and hitting and swiping, take that time you spend (hours upon hours, no doubt) and put in the time and effort to achieve those things inside of yourself because they were never outside of you to begin with. Anything else is a scam.