I woke up feeling a little off. Since finding the power of positive thinking - almost cult-like in some respects - I usually wake up fresh, renewed, and ready to begin a new day of endless possibilities for growth and happiness. And yes, I am aware of how ridiculous that sounds.
But today I felt a pang of the usual negative grouchiness that held me captive for decades. I didn't feel like getting up much less getting dressed up. I didn't feel like having the usual morning chit chat with my daughter or drive even the 20 minutes to work. I was feeling only the grey of the cloudy morning and not the potential for the sun breaking through.
I tried to put a happy face on. Sang "Let It Go" from the Disney movie Frozen, in the car at the top of my lungs with my 12 year old, much to smiles and some snickers from the other commuters on Connecticut Avenue. I chatted on the phone with a friend I hadn't spoken with in a month. I had a midday manicure. None of it worked.
I just felt like I was rushing around, not getting anywhere, running into roadblocks both literally and figuratively, and in the end, nothing was truly accomplished and I had a headache. That's when I said to myself, "Fuck it! This day has been more shitty than not. Let's just call it a loss, hit the reset button tomorrow, and for now, have a cheeseburger!"
Driving home, I called ahead to our local burger place and ordered up dinner. It was waiting when we got there, still hot from the grill, no other customers in front of me, and the cashier was pleasant and polite. And that's when I knew, it was all going to be ok.
That for all the positive affirmations, the power of prayer, and the peace of meditation, sometimes what you really need...
is a cheeseburger.