Sunday, December 11, 2011

Nope. Still Not Over It

Did you ever have someone in your life that is so filled with bile, just overflowing with hatred and bitterness, that they spew it without discretion? And does this same person think they are the kindest and most generous person they know, and if they do have a moment of anger they are complete justified? Besides, they are always so wonderful to everyone that in these rare times you should feel only compassion and concern, right?

And that's it! That's why I loath this person and have in the best of times, only tolerated them. They think they are just lovely when in reality they are the most annoying and offensive person whose company I've ever had to endure.

Just the mere thought of this person puts a kink in my neck and a pit in my stomach.

More so, the fact that this creature of a person can manipulate me into this state makes the whole situation even worse. Why do I allow it? This person means less than nothing to me, but their presence is enough to raise my blood pressure. Where the Hell is my switch for turning off my bubbling emotions?

I've said this before. Saying it again now will not be the last time. I believe that my life would be vastly easier if I drank.

I think therein lies my missing switch.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

"Poof" Go Away

I'm going to Hell one day. There has to be a consequence for what I'm about to say.

I just want to get it out of my system and hopefully that will be where my pain and frustration end... for the time being.

I wish someone gone. I'm not saying who and I'm not saying why. I'm not asking for some horrific fate. I just want them to "poof" go away. Bye-bye. No more.

Honestly, and I've given this some thought, I don't think anyone who was being truly real with themselves, would miss this person.

This person is bitter and delusional and those are their best qualities. This person is a liar and judgmental, ignorant and loud and opinionated, lacking in social graces, charm, personality, taste, and they have absolutely no sense of humor. And they stink; really they smell. OK, now I'm just being petty... oh wait, I forgot petty.

But their worst crime is that I have had to endure their very presence for most of my life. The ultimate bully, mean and stupid, turning people who should have my back, against me. The thought of this person turns my stomach. And as I am solidly middle-aged, this is far too "playground drama" for me. I'm done. I want out.

But seeing as how I can't wish someone away, I'm going to have to figure out how I can deal with the situation better. Fight fire with fire perhaps. Throw it back instead of take it. Stand my ground since logic and reason will be on my side. Easier said than done.

Off to bed now. I feel better for having put this out of my head and down on "paper". Perhaps a new day will bring a new perspective... or at least a way to avoid seeing this person ever again.