Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Vacationing Without Baggage

I'm feeling out of sorts. I'm feeling unsettled. I'm off my game. Blah, blah, blah. Jesus Christ, even I'm sick of me always bitching about the same sh!t.

Who's pissing me off? Who's putting me down? Who's making me defend my kid, my life, myself? More of the same. I'm a broken record. It used to be fun. A bit entertaining. Now it's a bore. Who cares? is more like it.

I'm fat. I'm short. I thought I was going to amount to more. I'm tired. I'm busy. I can't stand being in the company of most people for more than an hour. I have no answers, no solutions. Only whining and complaining.

I just want to be left alone. By myself included... Wait! Can that be done?

Time away from me. Hmm... let's think about that for a moment. A vacation from myself. Who would I be? The vacationing me or the one left at home? The one on vacation of course. The one without baggage. This just might work. But how?

Just the thought of lying alone on a sandy beach without a single care in the world is bringing my blood pressure down. Deep breathe. Lovely.

But I see out of the corner of my eye... to-do lists and ungrateful relatives and comments about my eating habits and slow moving traffic and burnt out light bulbs and missing gloves and superior attitudes from obnoxious people and... I'm back!

Well, it was nice while it lasted. Just like real vacations. Always too short.

OK. I've got some changes to ponder. I'll get back to you once I figure out how to vent without complaining... Wait! Can that be done?

Here we go again.

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