Friday, December 31, 2010

And So Ends Another Year

I've said it before, but a full year later it bears repeating - January 1st is a lousy time to start a new year.

It's cold, it's grey, the holidays tap our wallets and our energy, and it's another reminder of all the things we didn't accomplish in the year past. Ugh! It's damned depressing. Who can be motivated for anything quite so profound as new year when all you really want to do is sleep until the Spring thaw.

With that said, I'm going to attempt to muster enough energy to write down some tried and true (tried because I try them every year; true because I truly don't know why I bother) resolutions. And one cannot speak of the new without recounting the old so why not a quick recap of the past year just for fun. OK. Here goes. The goals were to:

Exercise More/Eat Less - I must have read that wrong as soon as I wrote it down because it seems I did the complete opposite. I have gained weight that I couldn't afford to gain especially in light of my mid-year bloodwork and I have since taken to driving my daughter to school on days I deem too cold even though we live across the street from the building. It's safe to say that that resolution does not have a checkmark next to it. Back on the list it goes.

Save More/Spend Less - This I have accomplished. Check. While I wasn't able to squirrel away enough to buy a beach house (my imaginary goal) I do have a growing slush fund and my spending it completely under control (trip to Costco today aside). Truth be told, spending has become far less appealing to me; that's counter-intuitive to the Jersey girl consumer I was breed to be and some of my friends and family have yet to come over to my way of thinking, but saving is additive if you have a clear goal in mind... I really want a beach house.

Have More Patience/Be Less Reactionary - Surprising enough, this one gets a checkmark too. In fact, just last week, the principal at my daughter's school offered me a fulltime position as a paraeducator working with children with special needs one on one. When she offered it to me I said that I didn't think I had the skill set needed since I didn't study education in college. She said all I needed was patience to which I replied, "then I know I'm not qualified". She laughed and said I had more than I thought. She's taken note of how I am with the kids and how they are with me and she's impressed. I start my new job on Monday and boy am I going to need some of that new found patience.

OK. Two out of three. Not bad. In hindsight, I accomplished more than I thought.

But the big one still eludes me. At the end of 2009, looking ahead to 2010, all I saw were big milestones and family events each with photo ops and I was cringing for having let myself go. Apparently, not enough so to do something about it, but certainly enough to complain as usual. All those occasions came and went and there are countless photos to prove it. And while I didn't like the way I looked in 90% (that's probably a low estimate) of them, I was present, in the moment, enjoying the blessing of each celebration. I looked like Hell but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I think that's called growth.

Now, sitting at the end of 2010, looking ahead to 2011, there is much to consider and reassess. I have a new job that will give me less "me" time and will no doubt be frustrating on most days, but could also prove very rewarding. I started a little online shop a couple months ago that highlights everything I feel strongly about - classic children's clothes, recycling and repurposing, and children's charities - that I hope turns a profit soon (heck, I'd be happy with selling something). And I've recently reconnected with an amazing group of old friends that are excelling in their fields and it's lit a fire under me to get back to what I've always loved, writing.

Remember that? That was the reason for this blog.

"In the back of my mind, I guess I've always wanted to be a writer - poems, short stories, screenplays, novels, children's picture books; you name it, I started it. And therein lies the problem. I'm all good starts that go nowhere.

Will blogging solve this problem? In theory, yes, because there is no real end to the daily musings of life, now is there? Everyday presents us with something new, if only the opportunity to see the old in a new way.

Today is my first day entering the blogosphere. Where will the journey take me? Who's to say, but at the very least, I hope that it makes me a better writer so that I can finally finish one of the aforementioned projects."

Not for money. Not for glory. Just for me. (OK, the money and glory would be a nice perk but if they don't come with the package I'll be happy just the same.)

There is something exhilarating in starting a project that will give you a sense of satisfaction as well as an opportunity for self expression. And the possibility for fame and fortune is nice too ;-) Skip the accolades - I'll take a Beach House!!

Damn, how could I forgot about wearing a bathing suit at the beach house?

Looks like I'm back to Resolution #1.

Happy New Year My Blogosphere Family of Friends! May the year ahead bring you less trials and more triumphs. And may everyday bring you closer to your dreams.
All My Best Always,
Bonnie

No comments:

Post a Comment