Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Panic Attack

I'm having trouble breathing, my heart rate is rapid, and I can't relax my neck muscles. I think this may be a panic attack.

Of course, if it were, I'm sure I would not be able to type or think clearly enough to come up with things to type so I must just be having an adrenaline rush brought on by some, we'll call them "issues".

Our anniversary cruise is in 24 days. I've been planning for a year but apparently while I was planning the cruise and travel plans and how to pay for it (well, most of it) I neglected to notice some important points until now.

1) I haven't lost a pound. Not one stinkin' ounce. I've said it before but it bears repeating - I would make an excellent Eskimo. I store fat during times of trial, like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. I'm not sure any of my clothes from the summer (yes, that season just a month ago) even fit now and I'm certainly not going to find shorts and t-shirts when the stores have Christmas decorations next to the Halloween candy already lining the aisles. I am in so much trouble. Let's add to the fact that this is my anniversary. I'd like to be in a photo or two to prove I was actually there. Oh boy, I will certainly be "there"; you won't be able to miss me.

2) I budgeted wrong. And this vacation which I promised myself would be paid in cash will be paid in a 50/50 split of cash/bank of daughter. How my 8 year old wound up with more money than me, I have no idea, but thank God. I'll pay her back with more interest than the bank, but still. It's a little humiliating. What I forgot in the mix was boarding the dog for over a week , spending money (I have no idea how I forgot that), oh, and the nearly $200 for an expedited passport renewal; which leads me to #3.

3) I just discovered (22 days left to check-in) that my husband's passport is expired. He is on his way into the city right now to be the first one in line at the federal passport office and beg, borrow, or steal what he needs to get it done. I have told him that nothing is more crucial that taking care of this situation TODAY. If he hits a roadblock, he is NOT to throw in the towel. He must stay and work it out. Just writing about this is giving me a stomachache.

So these are the top 3 reasons I'm in a panic. There are certainly more, but these are the ones pressing at the moment. Not really helping the whole weight-loss thing given that I am the complete opposite of the person who says "I'm so nervous that I can't eat. The weight is just falling off me." In fact, I've been thinking about breakfast almost the entire time I've been typing. Sick, I tell you. I am sick!

Endeavour of the Day:
1) NO CARBS! At least 1 mile walk (only 15 minutes with video; if I can't free up 15 minutes I am doing something very wrong).

2) Reassess finances to see if I can't pay my daughter back before Christmas. Guess that means everyone on our list (and my longtime blog friends will no doubt remember how long that list is from last year) will be getting homemade gifts.

3) Leave it in God's and the US Government's hands with regards to the passport. My husband just called while I was typing this (weird, huh?) and he is in the city. The office door reads appointment only and opens at 9am. The website said appointments accepted and opens at 8am.

This is not starting off well.

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