Sunday, April 18, 2010

I'm Past the Crying Phase...

...and onto the angry portion of our show.

After yet another sleepness night, I have giving myself permission to LOSE IT! I have been patient, accommodating, understanding. I have taken the high road and bit my tongue when I wanted to correct and reprimand. I have taken out my frustrations directly on my husband and indirectly on my daughter and even the dog. I'M DONE! Today (assuming my contractor shows at all) I'm going to scream!

Yesterday was a typical day in my world the last two months. But let me back track a bit to give you the running start to my foul mood.

Back when we started these renovations we discussed work day schedules. I said he could start as early at 7am, but he had to be out by 5pm because I'm cranky after 5pm (which is true, but more importantly because I wanted a little privacy and unwind time with my family). He wanted to work Saturdays. I said fine. Long story short, he never showed at 7am. Or 8am. Or 9am. His average arrival time is 12n and lately, it's been 2pm. He said that 5pm is too early since he has a project he wants to accomplish each day in order to start the next. Fine, stay beyond 5pm (though at the time, it didn't occur to me that had he began his day in the AM he wouldn't need to work past 5pm).

As things progressed, I would notice that I would leave for work (11:15am) with an empty house and return to an empty house (1:45pm) but things had been moved. He works less than me - the 2 hour a day recess monitor. I'd call (PS I always called; he never calls) and say "are you done for the day?" "Yup." Are you kidding me? How is he supposed to finish by the end date working less than 2 hours a day when there is a list of things to do? Answer: He's not.

The kitchen was supposed to be finished 3 weeks ago. He never showed that week. The bathroom was supposed to be done last week. He worked two hours that day. Both were supposed to be completely completed at 2pm on Friday. He showed up at 1:30pm and left at 3pm. Yesterday he appeared at 3:30pm with his 9 year old in tow. Now I'm supposed to babysit while you do one thing and leave?

Let's move onto his "staff". One is a hardworker but with few skills. Plus he's illiterate (I've never actually met anyone who couldn't read; and certainly not at the age of 55) and so he can't drive without following "A" because he can't read directions. One is a complaining lazy worker with no skills either. He spends most of the time on his cell talking with "his ladies" (3 kids, 3 different woman, not one of them with the wife he hasn't seen in 5 years; oh, and he's 25) and smoking. He doesn't drive at all and recently failed his 3rd written driving exam. Both of these people are go-fers... "S get me a screwdriver." "M vacuum up this dust." They don't do anything else. Both have gotten used to me feeding them. They have gotten comfortable with talking to me as their equal. I'm not happy with that.

My list of things to fix is growing. Many of these items are a quick fix but still they remain on the list undone. It drives me crazy. Finish this project and get out! Showing up at 2pm, working 2 hours, not finishing the job, dust everywhere, tools everywhere, plastic everywhere, talking to me like I'm one of "the ladies", going into my frige for food, taking my privacy, taking my time, taking my sanity.

I'm done, get out!

He's supposed to finish the inside today. Of course, we all know that's not possible with the list I have if you show up at 3pm and work for an hour and a half. Also, his landscape crew is supposed to work today. They were supposed to come yesterday, but they were a no show. Surprise, surprise.

I'm at a full boil now after simmering for 2 months. I'm ready to blow!


  1. Let them have it like Mt. Vesuvius! Let the volcano blow and don't apologize to the "work" crew for it. Don't feel guilty either, Bonnie. Not before, during, or after. Now that I am thinking about it, since I am a bystander, maybe I could fly into your town and put A and his crew into place for you. I have A LOT of spare emotions I could vent onto them and not feel one iota of guilt afterward. I got your back Bonnie, I only wish I could be there in real time to help. Or listen to you rant so you'd have a shoulder to vent on. I can feel the heat of your frustration from my laptop.
    Think I have the best tan of my life from that inferno. Maybe you're afraid that because things aren't getting fixed if you blow your stack then things REALLY won't get fixed because of it. Has your husband stepped in to help? If he's noticed your obvious frustration and is tired of you taking things out on him, it's time for him to back you up. Go as a team and tell A how you both feel and what you want done about the situation. Maybe even threaten going to the BBB about how their "work" ethics are. Does A have a boss that is above him?
    I really wish I could do more than read and respond to your blog, Bonnie. Those boys wouldn't be standing when I got finished with them....

  2. Wow. That sounds like beyond lame. And frustrating. I'd been tempted to tell them to just forget it and leave and don't come back and find someone more competent to finish the job. XD But I'm sure that would solve nothing. But it would feel good. XD

  3. Today what a powderkeg of emotions. Let me get you both up to speed.

    My daughter and I left the house for church (her friend was receiving their own Communion today) at 11:45am. I called to see where A was. He said he was 15 mintues away. I said very plainly and calmly that there was a list on the kitchen counter and I wanted all but the two azaleas I pointed out, removed. We were in agreement. I didn't want to fight about this over the phone or while I was in route to church... for God's sake.
    I pulled back in the driveway at 1:30pm and saw no A but I did see 3 teenagers one of whom was his stepson. Are you kidding me? I paying for trained professionals not kids. Well, I guess I was going to have to have this conversation on the phone afterall.
    I called.
    "What is going on here?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "There are children doing my yardwork. I thought I was expecting professionals."
    "This is my crew."
    "Are you kidding?"
    "No. Why are you blowing a gasket?"
    "Don't you dare speak to me that way. I have been more than patient... (and then I let loose with it all - the late arrivals, the no shows, the 2 hours of work, the finish work undone, the deadlines missed - it went on and on.)
    "I don't understand why you're so upset now."
    "Because I've been holding it in for 2 months, expecting you to finish before I lost it."
    "It will all be done by Tuesday."
    "Is that a real Tuesday or is this like the Thursday 3 weeks ago where you didn't show or the Friday last week where you were here for an hour and a half?"
    "We'll be done and gone Tuesday."
    "Great. Thank you."
    I hung up. I was meeting a friend (and former chef) who is doing all my catering for two days of parties for the Communion. We were going to buy supplies. By the time I got to her house I was a sobbing mess. Thank God I didn't let that come out on the phone. On the phone I was a cold bitch.
    Once I got back, I did my rounds surveying the work. It was a good job. I appreciate good work. I gave them all drinks. This was not their fault. This was a build up of many days of agony. I thanked them all, including A. He left saying that he would be back tomorrow to finish inside so the cleaning crew could do their thing on Tuesday while he finished outside. I said see you tomorrow and went inside.
    I don't expect to see him much before noon.

  4. I am SO PROUD of YOU =D I cannot believe he asked you why you were blowing gasket NOW. OMG!! He would've had me on the other end of the phone in a nano-second if I had held on for 2 months of his crap...Whew, I had better take a breath, LOL ;)
    You are indeed a woman worthy of great respect for keeping your cool on the phone, Bonnie. I am sorry that he caused you to cry. That is unforgivable.
    I hope he keeps his word of being done on Tuesday to you. And I am glad that the crew did a great job on your landscaping.
    Keep your chin up, woman.
    How cool. Your own personal chef to cater your parties. I am SO ENVIOUS(in a good way) =)

  5. Thank you, Wendy. Thank you so, so much.
    I felt so tense all afternoon, but I'm glad I did it... I couldn't lose another night of sleep. I still feel bad about it though. Too many years of always taking the high road I suppose.
    I just hope my rant actually did something. We'll see. I'm not going to push again. The volcano is empty ;-)
    As for my friend the chef, shopping with her today was a joy (Costco on a Sunday aside). Her creative process, her knowledge of food, her elation at finding something she "knows will work perfectly". It was so much fun. I gasped at the bill but then reminded myself that 35 people at a hotel brunch would have easily been 3x the amount and this is food for two days - well the first grocery trip that is. We go again on Friday for the last minute things.
    Thanks again Wendy. I did good. I'm proud of myself. I just wish I didn't have to do it in the first place.

  6. So glad to hear the happiness once again in your blog =D
    Before you know it everything will be over with. It will turn out beautifully as you have planned. Then you and your hubby and daughter can sit together and reminisce about your terrific memories =D