I lack patience. Pure and simple. My sister doesn't have any. My mother doesn't have any either. My grandmother certainly has more but only by comparison to those of us who have so little. I'm sure if you could chart the women in my family back for generations not one would be living up to this virtue. That's not an excuse; it's a statement of fact.
Now while I lack patience, I do have a fair amount of self-control (except maybe around carbs =D) and so it would appear that I have what could be considered patience. What you'd actually be seeing is seething and deep breathing all the while keeping my teeth firmly clenched so as not to scream.
I abhor laziness. I detest "good enough". I loathe procrastination. I hate lack of common sense. Everyday, in nearly every corner of my life, I am confronted with someone's (pick a work from above) that effects my day. It drives me over the edge and because we live in a world where I don't have magical powers to just "poof and gone" these individuals, I'm left seething and breathing and clenching.
What makes this current situation worse is that even my blog, my little refuge, my diary unlocked, has come under scrutiny by people who actually know me so I'm no longer able to talk freely here. Doing so, would leave me open to being "thrown under the bus" as one member of my FB/Blog family attempted to do during the holidays. [You know who you are my dear and you're out matched if you're really looking to damage my reputation.]
But this is not the point of today's rant. No, this is about losing it and not having to consider who it hurts because clearly, those who test my patience are NOT considering how I feel.
I've often said that my daughter is the only one I have patience for. At least I try. Today she tested me, unknowingly of course, and I had to remind myself that it wasn't her I was angry with, but the patterns and flaws she has been learning from others. Character traits that will do nothing to help her in the future but will do a great deal to potentially bring it down. I have been her shadow today (school holiday) in an attempt to correct her whenever she fell off the path. Call me what you will - helicopter mom, obsessive parent, bitch - but damn if I'm not going to do everything I can to keep her moving forward and not fall into bad habits. I've got a chance to right the ship before it lists and I'm taking it! [I can't wait to read the comments that are going to be coming my way with this post.]
I started to lose it, raised my voice, heard her throat clench up as she replied to me, and I backed off. But not before reminding her that which is expected of her and what is not acceptable behavior even if she sees it on a regular basis. She got it. She's a quick study like her mom. I don't expect I'll have to have this conversation again for some time.
For those of whom she is learning the art of "whatever" from, be forewarned! I don't have any patience left for you.