Sunday, January 24, 2010

Undecided

It's come to my attention over the last month that there are many more people reading my blog than those of you that have come forward as "followers". In fact, from the comments made to me in person, it seems a good percentage of those I've told about my little blog have been reading it on a regular basis. And all of these comments are coming from people I personally know. Most of the feedback has been positive - who doesn't love that, right? But some of it has been gossipy - "So I hear you're having problems with your daughter." [Let me first clear the air by saying, I'm not having problems with my daughter. She's wonderful, our relationship is wonderful, and I think I'm a damn good mother. Period.]

Now, while I love the idea of so many people reading and enjoying - or at least having it strike a chord in some way - my blog, I now feel like my hands are a bit tied. This literary excursion was supposed to be a way for me to vent my frustrations at the world (and improve my writing skills in the process) but how can I do that freely when the topic of my weekly post may be you!

I said early on that my "villains" are a composite of personality traits of many people I know. While this is true, I can't dismiss that the facts of any situation will show quite clearly that I am talking about one person in particular at any given time.

Over these last few weeks I have pondered starting another blog; a secret blog that I will not announce to anyone. One that if discovered will be completely anonymous. But do I have the time to devote to two separate blogs? And won't that take the edge off of this blog here, my baby, my first foray into the blogosphere?

I'm undecided.

I do know this. I have come to love writing again. The words flow so freely that I can hardly keep up the typing to go along with it. This blog has come to be a necessary mind purge, if you will, of what bugs me, what drives me, what insults my senses, what feeds my soul. And I'm not giving it up.

OK. I've made my decision. It happens so rarely, but here it is... I'm going to put myself first. And in doing so, I'm going to continue this blog, my only blog. I'll risk offending people (who, let's be honest, if I'm writing about you, you've clearly offended me) and deal with the consequences as they come. This journal, this diary, this exercise in bettering myself, is too important to let go for the sake of the high road.

I guess all that's left to say is... don't piss me off or be forewarned ;-)

9 comments:

  1. You are awesome, Bonnie. XD I'm so glad that you've decided to keep this blog. (: I say if someone feels offended or whatever by what you have to say...then that's their issue if they can't handle someones venting.

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  2. Gavin, you're one of the reasons I stick around ;-)
    I've got a whole lot more to say... I'm not going anywhere =D

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  3. You know, all you have to do is go to your settings and change who sees your blog. You can change it so that if they don't have an account with blogger, then they can't read it. It's sad that you can't vent without being judged or rung through the gossip mill. Maybe the people who are gossiping are jealous because you have a good relationship with your daughter and have a good life. Or maybe they have nothing better going on in their own lives. That would be what I would do. Make my blog strictly for the eyes of members ONLY. Then, you can vent til your heart's content and watch the ones so bent on being nosey rather than concerned fume because they didn't get to read your latest blog. Justice served and deserved =) Glad you chose to stay.

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  4. Wendy, you are fantastic! I'm going to look into the security settings first thing tomorrow... that will give some of the folks I'm talking about a chance to see the post that inspired my decision ;-)
    Thank you both.

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  5. I had a similar dilemma early on with my own blog. I rarely state names of people that I reference, but to read the blog, they would know (I'd hope) if it were them I was talking about. And like you, I chose to do my own thing instead of writing to 'please' others.

    Do what feels right. That's always the best advice. And if someone gets offended? They don't HAVE TO be here!
    :-)

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  6. Thank you Nancy... yours is the first blog I ever "followed" and I trust your advice.
    This does feel right and while the high road is my usual route, I'm going to learn to change course once in a while if it pleases me... for the sake of my writing AND the sake of my psyche ;-)

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  7. Keep on Blogging! I'd miss you if you stopped ^^) I was thinking about telling friends about my blog but then decided to tell a select few,maybe that helps a bit? I dunno ^^) I'm glad your not about to vanish on us ^^) Keep up the great blogs!

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  8. Thank you. I know I've made the right choice when so many people are in support of it. Of course, none of you are the ones who prompted my indecision in the first place ;-) No worries, I'm going to continue what I do for as long as I want to do it.
    Thank you all again. You've warmed my heart and put a smile on my face. Thank you.

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  9. 2 thumbs up Bonnie! Write on! :)
    Ginger

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