Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Check Please!

My family knows it. My friends know it. Even you, my blogosphere family of friends, knows it by now. The only one who doesn't know it... is me.
Well, that is, I didn't know it until today. I'm at my happiest when I'm busiest.

Why today was the day I should receive a wake-up call, I have no idea. But as I sat down to the computer to do my usually morning routine of checking and replying to email, checking, posting, and replying to FB, checking, reading and commenting on blogs I follow, it occurs to me that I was in heaven. All my little ducks in a row. The systems was purring with efficiency. I love it when things are running smoothly. That's when I take more on. And so I did.

Make plans to meet a friend for coffee, check. Volunteer to make dinner for a neighbor who is expecting a new baby, check. Add another 30 minutes to my workout routine, check. Buy a megaphone to yell at the super bad 4th graders on the playground, check (more on my new job in future posts). Set-up an Etsy store as a mother/daughter project, check. Churn-out artwork and handmade creations for said Etsy store, check and working on more. Pray for so many people going through such tragic times (please read my previous post), sadly check. Plan vacations, do laundry, organize school party, finish centerpieces for sister's shower, remind husband of weekly calendar, take the dog to the vet, call dentist to complain about bill, go to DMV to return plates for car sold last week, write my blog, help my daughter with homework, make dinner, eat, sleep, brush teeth, pray some more, check.

My head is spinning and my plate is full and yet, I'm loving every minute of it. So, I stop to ask myself the question "why". And here is where the "Ah-ha" moment comes in. I am hardwired to live a purposefully life. I can't be sedentary, I have to be doing something. I think I may have been Amish in a past life - up at dawn, chores all day, pass out from exhaustion at dark, and start all over again. Have you ever seen a grumpy Amish person? I haven't. They love their lifestyle and so do I.

Wow! Realizing something about myself was the whole point of starting this blog. CHECK!!

The next time I start complaining about being crazy busy, remind me to take a deep breath and enjoy! It means I'm living the life I love. Of course, all bets are off if something goes wrong like the 15 year old furnace finally dying - it's freezing today! ;-)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Please Follow This Blog

I have been putting off adding this blog to my list of recommendations.

Perhaps it was my way of hoping I wouldn't have to; that by some miracle everything would turn out fine and there would be no news to share. Unfortunately, that's not the case. While everyday, there is positive information, there is still a huge uphill battle facing this boy and his family.

Twenty days ago, my friend's nephew was shot in the head. The details are fuzzy at this point as to the actual incident, but this 16 year old boy was not expected to live through the night. Today, he blew his mother (my friend's sister) a kiss.

She's been blogging everyday, keeping everyone up to date on his amazing, yet still far from over, progress. She hasn't left the hospital in all this time, staying bedside with her "handsome boy". Please take a moment to read her inspirational words:
http://alexrossupdates.blogspot.com/

Thank you.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Undecided

It's come to my attention over the last month that there are many more people reading my blog than those of you that have come forward as "followers". In fact, from the comments made to me in person, it seems a good percentage of those I've told about my little blog have been reading it on a regular basis. And all of these comments are coming from people I personally know. Most of the feedback has been positive - who doesn't love that, right? But some of it has been gossipy - "So I hear you're having problems with your daughter." [Let me first clear the air by saying, I'm not having problems with my daughter. She's wonderful, our relationship is wonderful, and I think I'm a damn good mother. Period.]

Now, while I love the idea of so many people reading and enjoying - or at least having it strike a chord in some way - my blog, I now feel like my hands are a bit tied. This literary excursion was supposed to be a way for me to vent my frustrations at the world (and improve my writing skills in the process) but how can I do that freely when the topic of my weekly post may be you!

I said early on that my "villains" are a composite of personality traits of many people I know. While this is true, I can't dismiss that the facts of any situation will show quite clearly that I am talking about one person in particular at any given time.

Over these last few weeks I have pondered starting another blog; a secret blog that I will not announce to anyone. One that if discovered will be completely anonymous. But do I have the time to devote to two separate blogs? And won't that take the edge off of this blog here, my baby, my first foray into the blogosphere?

I'm undecided.

I do know this. I have come to love writing again. The words flow so freely that I can hardly keep up the typing to go along with it. This blog has come to be a necessary mind purge, if you will, of what bugs me, what drives me, what insults my senses, what feeds my soul. And I'm not giving it up.

OK. I've made my decision. It happens so rarely, but here it is... I'm going to put myself first. And in doing so, I'm going to continue this blog, my only blog. I'll risk offending people (who, let's be honest, if I'm writing about you, you've clearly offended me) and deal with the consequences as they come. This journal, this diary, this exercise in bettering myself, is too important to let go for the sake of the high road.

I guess all that's left to say is... don't piss me off or be forewarned ;-)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Whomever Said "Patience Is A Virtue" Was An Idiot

Whomever said "Patience is a Virtue" was an idiot. And I don't mean idiot as in "who's the ass who now has us all feeling bad about ourselves because we lack patience" - thought that is part of it. No, I mean actual idiot as in "you'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to endure the constant barrage of attacks on one's temper self control button" to believe that being patience in all instances is attainable.

I lack patience. Pure and simple. My sister doesn't have any. My mother doesn't have any either. My grandmother certainly has more but only by comparison to those of us who have so little. I'm sure if you could chart the women in my family back for generations not one would be living up to this virtue. That's not an excuse; it's a statement of fact.

Now while I lack patience, I do have a fair amount of self-control (except maybe around carbs =D) and so it would appear that I have what could be considered patience. What you'd actually be seeing is seething and deep breathing all the while keeping my teeth firmly clenched so as not to scream.

I abhor laziness. I detest "good enough". I loathe procrastination. I hate lack of common sense. Everyday, in nearly every corner of my life, I am confronted with someone's (pick a work from above) that effects my day. It drives me over the edge and because we live in a world where I don't have magical powers to just "poof and gone" these individuals, I'm left seething and breathing and clenching.

What makes this current situation worse is that even my blog, my little refuge, my diary unlocked, has come under scrutiny by people who actually know me so I'm no longer able to talk freely here. Doing so, would leave me open to being "thrown under the bus" as one member of my FB/Blog family attempted to do during the holidays. [You know who you are my dear and you're out matched if you're really looking to damage my reputation.]

But this is not the point of today's rant. No, this is about losing it and not having to consider who it hurts because clearly, those who test my patience are NOT considering how I feel.

I've often said that my daughter is the only one I have patience for. At least I try. Today she tested me, unknowingly of course, and I had to remind myself that it wasn't her I was angry with, but the patterns and flaws she has been learning from others. Character traits that will do nothing to help her in the future but will do a great deal to potentially bring it down. I have been her shadow today (school holiday) in an attempt to correct her whenever she fell off the path. Call me what you will - helicopter mom, obsessive parent, bitch - but damn if I'm not going to do everything I can to keep her moving forward and not fall into bad habits. I've got a chance to right the ship before it lists and I'm taking it! [I can't wait to read the comments that are going to be coming my way with this post.]

I started to lose it, raised my voice, heard her throat clench up as she replied to me, and I backed off. But not before reminding her that which is expected of her and what is not acceptable behavior even if she sees it on a regular basis. She got it. She's a quick study like her mom. I don't expect I'll have to have this conversation again for some time.

For those of whom she is learning the art of "whatever" from, be forewarned! I don't have any patience left for you.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"I Hear The Secrets That You Keep When You're Talking In Your Sleep"

I need to share good things with friends. When I find a great sale, I tell everyone. When I find a product I love, I tell everyone. When I find a blog that has me doubled over with muscle cramps from laughing out loud, I tell everyone.

I have been laughing since I found this new blog. Check out the "Blog of Note" winner from January 8th: "SleepTalkinMan".

Caution: Don't eat or drink while reading; it is bound to go down the wrong pipe. Stay close to a bathroom too because you may wet yourself from laughing. I warned you ;-)

Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Sister's Shrek-Themed Bridal Communion Birthday Opening

I'm currently planning four separate events at once.

No, the kitchen isn't one. I'm hoping to have these put to bed before we even break linoleum on the kitchen.
No, not my exercise/diet routine. But you'll all be happy to know that I continue to eat right, exercise daily (some days harder than others), and have just come off a week long stomach virus that lost me another 3 lbs.
No, my sister's wedding, my HS reunion, and my 15th anniversary cruise are all on the back burner plan wise.

I am working on my sister's art opening, my other sister's bridal shower, my daughter's holy communion, and her birthday party. All at the same time. I'm sure at some point, or maybe it's already happened, I'll mix things up and make Shrek-themed favors for the shower.

With all this going on, plus losing last week to having my head in a bucket, and the previously mentioned job coming down the pike (formal interview Thursday), not to mention that my house is still decorated like Christmas - whew - I regrettably, do not have time to write my weekly blog on the comings and goings, the highs and lows, the Yin and Yang, of this suburban Mommy's life... or maybe I just did.

I'll try to check back in at some point this week, but I make no promises ('cause I always keep my promises and I'm not so sure that's one I can keep). Stay well (being sick sucks), stay positive (it's the really the only thing that will keep you motivated for another day), stay strong (strength of character is all you need to fight what trials life has in store for us).

Until next time, my blogosphere friends =D

Monday, January 4, 2010

Holding My Breathe Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop

I've mentioned more than once that I live at the center of Yin and Yang. If things are going well, something is about to go very wrong. 99% of the time, it involves money...

>Like in early 2005, when, after months of planning and saving, I had just finished paying off a luxury vacation for my husband's 40th birthday and the transmission on my car died.
>Or when he was downsized out of his job (because he made "too much" money) during a heat wave and the AC went.
>Or, upon returning from a week at the beach, a huge poplar tree had fallen into our neighbor's yard, breaking our fence, and hitting her gazebo. That time, insurance and lawyers were involved.

Now here I am, looking at a year filled with nothing but happy calendar events - my husband turns 45, the kitchen renovations, my daughter's birthday and first holy communion, my sister's bridal shower and wedding, our 15th wedding anniversary - and not only am I wondering how I'm going to pay for it all, but I'm wondering when (dare I say these things out loud or in print) the furnace is going to blow or the plumbing burst.

Today, I received a call from the school secretary calling on behave of the principal. She offered me a job as (hold your laughter) recess monitor. Two hours a day with fairly generous pay for doing little more than standing outside and appearing as if I could crack a few skulls - without actually doing it. At first, I said I'd get back to her tomorrow, because, believe it or not, I was saying to myself: "I'm barely getting through all I have to do now. When am I suppose to workout? And I like having my days relatively free to make my own schedule." Selfish, I know. I mean here is a perfect job with regards to my daughter's schedule (no before or after school care, summers off) and I'm on the fence. And it's only 2 hours a day! Once I got my head screwed on straight, and reminded myself that the extra money would be a big help with all the aforementioned plans, I popped into the school office and accepted the job. Not a bad first Monday of the New Year.

Now, however, I'm waiting for some bad news like, the position has been eliminated or I wasn't approved because, I don't know, I'm too short to be an authority figure for the 5th graders.

I actually have a stomachache thinking I might not secure a job that 7 hours ago I didn't even want.

Well, here's the wait and see part of our show. The part where I walk on eggshells hoping that nothing goes wrong to screw things up. In the meantime, I'm holding my breathe a little and trying to calm my stomach. Hey, maybe I can combine the two and get a little core workout while I wait ;-)