Let me backtrack by saying that I am a doer. You hand me a task, you can expect that it will be done to perfection and on time, sometimes even under budget. So months ago, when my husband said, "the kitchen is a go, this is your budget, you can start the first week of January", well, I ran with it. The kitchen plans are drawn up with the contractor, on target with budget, start date 1/4.
While I handle the household finances, I don't handle the investments... or more importantly, make the money. So as I was sorting and packing this morning, waiting for the contractor to arrive to write him his first check, my husband called to say that his part in this endeavor would not be available until mid-February. What!? And again, What?! See, he started, and then he didn't follow-up, and then he waited some more, and then he dropped the ball which set off a chain reaction I was in charge of having to clean up. Had it not been a snow day and my daughter was not home with a friend over to play, the expletives would have been flying!!!
What can I do? What's done is done. I suppose I should be happy I'm still getting a new kitchen just not in two weeks. But I've got a good rage going and I don't want to waste it seeing the bright side. So who should I rail against? My husband, who's already feeling my wrath. The contractor, who is rescheduling his life around me. My daughter, who I kept asking to "leave Mommy alone right now, I don't want to yell at you for something you didn't do". No, it's me. I always remember in hindsight, to keep big news to myself until it's happening or has happened. Because now, since I posted on my Facebook page (Christ, I've got to get off Facebook) all the plans for the kitchen and now that it's all on hold, I'm getting the pity comments.
"Oh, Bonnie, what happened?"
"I'm so sorry."
"Yikes! What went wrong?"
"Hope your marriage survives."
Where's the comment... "Damn, that stinks. But now you don't have to pack up the kitchen before you head to NJ." That's a true friend's response. I'd even take "(Husband's name here) is a moron. I hope he makes up for this blunder with an awesome Christmas gift." One friend wrote "It's never too late to start drinking." That I liked. Humor folks, not pity. Don't feel sorry for me. Don't feel better about yourself at my expense. Don't you dare pity me. Let me deal with my own "stuff". Buoy my spirits with wit and intelligent sarcasm, not condescension and sad smiley-faces. Ugh!
Tomorrow, I will unpack those items I started to pack away. No need now. I've got some time. Then I plan to find what's left of my Christmas spirit and fan the flames a bit so that I can at least get through the week without this pit in my stomach. Why is the pit there? Surprisingly, not because I'm not getting a new kitchen the first Monday in January. It's there because I let people feel superior to me. And that's all my own fault :-(
Damn those sad smiley-faces! ;-)