Monday, December 21, 2009

I've Got A Good Rage Going & I Don't Want To Waste It Seeing The Bright Side

I started the day off with the early stages of packing up my kitchen. With Christmas this Friday and plans to be away for a week, I had to get a head start on moving items out of the kitchen for the renovations that "were" scheduled for January 4th. While I was sorting items into keep, donate, pitch, and will need in my makeshift kitchen, my husband called.

Let me backtrack by saying that I am a doer. You hand me a task, you can expect that it will be done to perfection and on time, sometimes even under budget. So months ago, when my husband said, "the kitchen is a go, this is your budget, you can start the first week of January", well, I ran with it. The kitchen plans are drawn up with the contractor, on target with budget, start date 1/4.

While I handle the household finances, I don't handle the investments... or more importantly, make the money. So as I was sorting and packing this morning, waiting for the contractor to arrive to write him his first check, my husband called to say that his part in this endeavor would not be available until mid-February. What!? And again, What?! See, he started, and then he didn't follow-up, and then he waited some more, and then he dropped the ball which set off a chain reaction I was in charge of having to clean up. Had it not been a snow day and my daughter was not home with a friend over to play, the expletives would have been flying!!!

What can I do? What's done is done. I suppose I should be happy I'm still getting a new kitchen just not in two weeks. But I've got a good rage going and I don't want to waste it seeing the bright side. So who should I rail against? My husband, who's already feeling my wrath. The contractor, who is rescheduling his life around me. My daughter, who I kept asking to "leave Mommy alone right now, I don't want to yell at you for something you didn't do". No, it's me. I always remember in hindsight, to keep big news to myself until it's happening or has happened. Because now, since I posted on my Facebook page (Christ, I've got to get off Facebook) all the plans for the kitchen and now that it's all on hold, I'm getting the pity comments.

"Oh, Bonnie, what happened?"
"I'm so sorry."
"Yikes! What went wrong?"
"Hope your marriage survives."

Where's the comment... "Damn, that stinks. But now you don't have to pack up the kitchen before you head to NJ." That's a true friend's response. I'd even take "(Husband's name here) is a moron. I hope he makes up for this blunder with an awesome Christmas gift." One friend wrote "It's never too late to start drinking." That I liked. Humor folks, not pity. Don't feel sorry for me. Don't feel better about yourself at my expense. Don't you dare pity me. Let me deal with my own "stuff". Buoy my spirits with wit and intelligent sarcasm, not condescension and sad smiley-faces. Ugh!

Tomorrow, I will unpack those items I started to pack away. No need now. I've got some time. Then I plan to find what's left of my Christmas spirit and fan the flames a bit so that I can at least get through the week without this pit in my stomach. Why is the pit there? Surprisingly, not because I'm not getting a new kitchen the first Monday in January. It's there because I let people feel superior to me. And that's all my own fault :-(

Damn those sad smiley-faces! ;-)


  1. Damn, that stinks. But now you don't have to pack up the kitchen before you head to NJ.

    Feel better now? (;

  2. Now you've got months to go through the stuff in the kitchen :) that a good thing ;) lol

  3. Packing this week would have meant tossing tea past it's expiration date and throwing everything else in a box. With more than a month to prepare, I can go through it all with a fine toothed comb. Goodwill, get ready! ;-)
    Happy Holidays!

  4. Bonnie, you seem like a woman with a stainless steel spine. Yes, this is a set back. But I'm sure you've had set backs in your past that you've overcome brilliantly =) Focus on all that lovely table decor you put out, snuggling with your husband and daughter in front of the fire and maybe roast some marshmallows for good measure. Sometimes the things we get exactly when we want them turn out to be less than stellar when we finally have them handed over to us. Everything that's worth anything-think "it took 9 months of waiting for your daughter to be born"-is worth the wait and hard work. Your kitchen will be so worth the wait. And without the labor pains =) Happy Christmas to you and yours!

  5. Wendy, thank you for your lovely and heartfelt comment - though I've come to expect nothing less from a poetic talent like yourself :-)
    I did all warn you, back when I had nothing to complain about, that I live at the "nexus of yin and yang". When things are going right, wrong is just around the corner. Ta-da!
    But you're right, I've dealt with setbacks before and survived, and it's not as if the kitchen project has been scraped altogether. I've waited 10+ years, what's a few more months. Besides, now I've got January to throw myself into working out. Thought I forgot about that didn't you? ;-)
    Thank you again, Wendy!
    Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year!

  6. Nah, I knew you'd never give up on Gilad..or yourself =) Take pics of the new kitchen. And if you still have your post at FB when it's done, put your pics up there as well and rub their noses in it LOL. They aren't better than you. Only jealous cause they aren't getting an new New Year's Kitchen =) Wishing you and yours a Happy Holiday!

  7. Thanks Wendy =) After the week I've had, plus this morning (2 out of 3 cars did not start and the other has a new warning light on the dash), I can't wait to start a NEW year!
    Yin and Yang! I told you all. I AM Murphy's Law - heehee!
    Merry Christmas to All!

  8. Sorta like 4 outta 5 detists...? LOL Ok, I suppose I know where you're coming from. There are times when what will go wrong does. Usually to ME ;) Here's wishing you cars that will start when started and also hope that your Yang and Yin won't lead you driving around in an Amish buggy for your New Year LOL.
    Hang tight.